On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
