The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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