I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I didn't notice because vodka
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
