It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
