What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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