Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
