Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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