You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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