I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
