I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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