physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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