he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
