I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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