we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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