You're completely useless in the revolution.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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