Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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