I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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