i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Two words: nipple clamps
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