just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
