i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
