12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
