He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
