If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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