i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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