we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
