So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
