What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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