She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I cockslap morals
they need to just BURY HIM!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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