If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
