I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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