You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
