i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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