Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
