Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
