Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
