I think I died a long time ago.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
