an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
