38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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