i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
