His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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