she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
