would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
