Betty ford says i'm here all night
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
