I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
All I want is dick and wine.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
