Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
