I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
