He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
