There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
