So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
