It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
