What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
did you just send me my own nude
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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