i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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