great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
They have beer where we have blood.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
