i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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