cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
